Healing The Heart

For the first time in my life, I ‘think’ I’m in love with someone and I’m too calm about it.

The day he left it wasn’t a good ending for the both of us. All the wrong things just decided to place itself into the situation and it got blown out of proportion. I know he’s deeply hurt and angry because of one little mistake I did. I know it wasn’t my fault because I was misinformed. But I didn’t bother going all out because I didn’t want to seem needy and desperate, but unfortunately he didn’t seem to think that way.

What do I do?

I wrote him a letter, trying to explain things as he refused to talk to my on his last night. It hurt the way he treated me but I want him to know that I didn’t deliberately abandoned him or make him wait. He’s been gone for 5 days now and I miss him terribly. It feels like he’s the one. I want him to be the one. I’m trying my darnest best not too think of him too much but it hurts inside knowing that he left feeling so infuriated with me.

Tears can no longer flow and my heart can only wait for his reply. If he ever replies.

God, how I miss him.

C baby, I’d do anything just to get you to speak to me again.

I love you, C. I do.

Friday, I’m In Love

Wow! For the longest time I’ve not blogged. I’ve been really busy with so many events in my life. I’m back for now with whatever.

Most of all I want to say this, I think I’m in love. I just met someone (for the shortest time) and it feels like we’re meant for each other. I’m only stating this on my blog because I know my friend wouldn’t believe me. I can’t stop thinking about him. Whatever it is, I told myself to take it one day at a time. C baby, I know you’re at work right now but I can’t stop thinking about last night, even with whatever that happened. I just wish I could see you in your white uniform.

Will someone just stop me from floating up into the sky.

.konfused.

I met up with a dear relative recently, whom I’ve not seen in a few months. She invited me out for drinks one night and since it’s been awhile since we talked, there was loads to tell. Once everything was laid out, I found out that she’s in pretty much in the same boat as me when it comes to the ‘love life’.

It’s a breath of fresh air knowing someone who knows exactly how you feel and what you’re going through. After four hours of mindless babbles about the guy we’re seeing, it was crystal clear that we could really do better. This didn’t end there, two nights later we’re at it again with nonstop chimneys and caipirinhas. It was one hell of a session.

We promised each other that we’d keep ourselves update and to encourage and remind each other that we weren’t LOSERS.

Two nights ago, I saw him again with a bunch of friends since I was away for a week. A friend told me that he was bringing a girl with him. It didn’t bother me at first but the moment they arrived, I felt my heart skip the beat. I was certain that I had a million butterflies in my stomach. He never looked so good. I was trying hard all evening to avoid gazing at his handsome face. Now doesn’t that sound like a LOSER to you?

Thank God about an hour later another friend came by and he was one EYE CANDY! That took me off my concentration on him for awhile.

Whatever it is, I’m telling myself to get over it and move on. Somehow every now and I have no choice but to see him because we have the same friends and it would be impossible to completely avoid him. There are times when I would love to ignore him but he’d always try to make conversations.

It’s been hard and I know it’s going to get harder. I need a new eye candy to keep me distracted.

She Said, He Said

“You’re falling for him aren’t you?” she glances at me, waiting for a confirmation.

“I am so not! I just love the way he looks!” assuring her.

“Doesn’t seem that way. I admit he’s a hottie.” she reassured.

Looking straight into her eye, “He’s like an itch I can’t scratch. I don’t even have to touch him and I’m high. What’s wrong with me?!“

“OMGOD, you sound just like me. But seriously, first you said it can’t be and now you’re saying otherwise. What gives?” she asked.

“I know what I said and I honestly can’t tell you because I don’t even comprehend this feeling. It’s weird.” I retorted.

It’s the God honest truth. If I was able to tell myself why I’m so nuts about him, I would. But I don’t and it’s quite frustrating as it is. We’ve been hanging out alot with a group of friends. It’s hard, knowing he’s there but I can’t touch him. Then again, isn’t it good enough that he’s there already?

I remember what we both agreed on, that we’d remained friends no matter what happens. It happened. Twice. Will it happen again? I don’t know. We’re still friends.

God I want him so much.

As Always

…I’m a fool for love.

I’m so crazy for him it’s unbelievable.

I just want every inch of him.

…

Baby I miss you.

For One Night

You were playing footy as soon as the movie started. You kissed me when I least expected it. You surprised me. Next thing I knew, you were nibbling my ears and I was in ecstasy.

It was nothing like I’ve ever experienced before, it was better than any other. You were gentle. My breasts were like precious commodity to you. Your touch, your kisses and how you wrap yourself around me.

Both you and I yearned to go further and we became adventurous. The intoxication of your voice and eyes when I rode you. I begged for more. You begged for more.

I smiled when you said you loved how I tighten my passage just for you.

We continued to wrap ourselves around each other, never wanting to let go. It was that moment I knew it was just the beginning of a very long addiction.

Those long lingering caress of your lips to mine and when you let your tongue trail into my eager flavorsome mouth, I was in rapture.

Make love to me again my baby. I am missing your embrace and kisses.

Let Me Be The One

When he’s not around, my stomach is filled with butterflies just thinking about him.

When he looks my way, my heart skips the beat.

When he smiles at me, I glow like the stars in the sky.

When he laughs, it give me a tingling feeling.

When he’s next to me, I smell his cologne and wish it will linger forever.

I may be crazy for falling for someone I hardly know. Is that possible?

My heart is beating at 100bpm and the butterflies are hindering me from having lunch.

Yes, I know I’m mad for falling for him but I don’t care.

Fluttering Butterflies

*butterflies* *butterflies* *butterflies*

ohmigod, ohmigod. It’s been awhile since I had the butterflies. It could have been a productive weekend but since I haven’t had a proper rest since mid-February, I decided to just lounge around. Speaking of butterflies earlier, I haven’t had it since…last year? I know it isn’t too long ago but I know the butterflies this time is different.

I met someone, well we were introduce by another friend via chat last year. So we’ve been chatting for awhile now. It was mostly casual chats in the beginning, sometimes flirty but indeed just casual. He visited here before but I never got the chance to meet him because he was with his family. Then. He’s seperated now. No, not because of me; I would never ever breakup a marriage.

Off late, we’ve been chatting and texting each other alot. I know he’s going through a slight rough patch with his ex and I certainly don’t want to be the ‘rebound girl’. Oh god, am I thinking towards that direction already? I know I like him and I know he likes me. Although, I don’t know how he really feels about me. As for me, let’s just say I’m already getting the butterflies.

He is a nice guy to start with and I know he loves his children. They are his jewels in his eyes. He’ll text me just about every day, whenever we’re not chatting that is. He has been quite lovey dovey with me; but I haven’t been showing the same signs. Honestly, I am scared. Scared of showing my feelings. I’m trying not to fall for him or for anyone right now. But it’s quite difficult especially when two people communicate with each other so often.

I haven’t heard from him since last night, yet I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about him. I’m constantly on the lookout with my phone. I’m wondering at the things that he does. I’m being extremely figgity at that. Grr.

Venus is all smiley! But she’s scared.

Does this seem to tell you something? It feels like it’s telling Venus something but she’s refusing to admit it.