Archive for the ‘Whips & Slashes’ Category

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Can I Slap You Now Friday?

April 4, 2008

I’m generally a friendly person. Everyone knows that. Unless I’m in one of my bizarre moods. Right now I’m probably in one of my grotesque mood. Why? Because I’m having a massive headache and I want to kill someone? You’ll probably notice in the headlines tomorrow:

Venus kills! Men are now not allowed to land on Venus.

You wonder, why is Venus using men as a headline? For some uncanny reason, I just feel like strangling a man right now. Venus loves her man but not this Friday. Cocks and nuts now seem like very smash-able items on the shelf like overly cooked sausages and hard boiled eggs. Does that hurt now boys? Yes, please don’t excuse the bad pun.

Venus despises the world today. She hopes it’ll get better by the end of the day.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes;
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes;
Silver-white winters that melt into springs

Only if the world was a better place. We can only imagine paradise.

Fookin’ ‘ell! That is so cliched!

Oh yes. Venus is in a very pissy mood.

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